1

light moves across

far leaves

and slips

into autumn darkness

what unseen

may roam

Bloodletting

This is the first night in a thousand years

that darkness is too deep, these hours

too long, loss of centuries in seconds, I feel

them all, too much life has gone and death, I call 

for the first time in a thousand years

2

in the night

water and blood

both shine black

you are a stain

on silence

3

Worm, in your eyes

I am nothing but a tomb for prayer

on bloody knees, the taunt

of the skull moon, this cracked

empty glass waiting

to be filled with spiders

some days

I am not dead

like the wolf

howling into the darkness

always

waiting for the reply

4

Beldam

heart blackened, pit of rot

walnut husks to form the skull

blood on rusted nail red hot

a poem a wail a soul

poppet stuffed with maggots full

her curses never fail

5

my lips split space

into here in the snow

and there in the sky

how easy it is and so deadly

to mistake one thing for another

I mistook you for human

6 

Corpus delicti

I make a shelter of bones a tent

of sorts with spare skin stretched tight

blades of lost days and sorrow the spine

driftwood bones of old home old place old

time long lost to weathering

7

Wren and stone

She had no frame that could contain her

her bones were lighter than hollow, slight

feathers in air, bird bones, fairy

light, she floated between and away

I lost her to the sky above where I

have fallen, my bones are heavy, I hold

too much gravity

8

This is a winter river

The wild water invites me in

just for the night, it says, come in, let me in

like a slick devil pleading

but I know it will be longer

much, much longer

I am

Abomination. What is the worst thing

someone ever named you?

9

finding no hope

sifting the ashes

of a burned heart

so many fallen leaves

not even death himself

will remember me

Remembrance

Black velvet poppies holding up

the weight of the winds, drinking

blood and tears like drops of rain, she

was not a ghost when she met him

Isn’t it better sometimes to forget?

10

the worst ghost

is the ghost of who

you could have been

une revenante éphémère

ce fantôme de la vie

que je voulais vivre

The moon says

does anyone see

my beautiful face

does anyone ever still

look up

to see

my shining

11

Thin roots

I found you nowhere in spite

of following your steps, our old

paths, to end on the river bank, hollowed

earth in the shelter of roots of old trees

the spot still holds your form, the gentle

way you calmed me

My feet try to root in the soil, thin roots

creep from my toes, entwine

with the weeds to never leave

this place where you were, to stay

here and starve

12

Fourberie

Your little lies water

the roots of the monster growing under your bed

he is always craving, starving like you

this envy of the living is a greedy wound

and the liquid rot of sorrow his tears of want

Feed him fat with

treacheries, the spider-like

creatures that crawl into your mouth at night

black sap oozes from under his tongue

over his lips, this drool of hunger

drip drip drip

13

Barely held

together, remolding this body like a half-assed golem

red clay from the riverbed, fish eyes for mine

a gash of mouth, bloated head dredged

from silt of the lake, I might as well make of me

this horror you named me long ago, some mass

without form you tried to claim your own so

wrap your vile tongue around this, speaking

of the dead, I am bigger than you now, inside

this body, unburdened, I am the monster

you made me

and maybe

I enjoy it

j'ai dit à la lune

je boirai toute

la lumière

que tu brilles

sur ce monde maudit

14

The Folk

My blood is poison a sap

seeping root to limb

just slow creeping sin

night gathered up to my throat

a shock and silken cloak

paper skin worn thin

twig fingers then soft as smoke                            

I whisper to rowan and oak

there are devils within

mes larmes

ne signifient rien

pour la lune elle

ne peut pas les distinguer

de la pluie

15

Name of red

I

Name of red

a bird’s blood

spilled

on the stones

II

Why do some ghosts 

believe so much 

in life

they hold on

a little longer

16

whistle of night wind

brushing through bare branches

a lullabye for her ghost

17

Avarice

Our homes are graves dug in mud, frames

built of bones covered with roofs of someone lesser’s

skin, the earth bleached bare in our wake, we’ve

borrowed time against tomorrow going anywhere

we please we fill the streets with our

fancy corpses, pieces stitched together from random lies

we assure ourselves and pretend we are super human

we know we’ve built our lives

on others’ sorrow

18

j’aime le ciel gris

le ciel sombre

je suis attiré par les ombres

waiting for night to bring jewels

of stars above us, the concert

of insects resounding 

19

If I am blue and brown and bitter

bruised it means I have blood I bleed

I am somehow still alive

j’ai le coeur lourd

mélancolie dans la nuit

je ne suis pas née comme je suis

20

I don’t understand how

to be human

and not constantly grieve

the opposite of love

the terror you left

behind

21

the long song of bodies

dissolving into red

on the grass

22

Children, black-eyed

They sing a child’s song with dead tongues

their eyes like caves, ink black

eyes of a crow or reaper

through blackness what is there to see

They sing a child’s song in a dead tongue

portends of death, black lies

of liquid rot purring like trickery

from their black lips, the stitches torn free

23

When death comes for me

I want to be the last to leave the room

because I’m curious, because I always

hang on too hard too long

to what I love, those I love and never give up

but also because I’ve always been the last

last to eat, last to go to bed, last to be seen

I’m the one who makes sure everyone else is

safe and sound, has had their fill

is tucked in, taken care of,  is on their way

I’m always the one who stays behind

I need to tidy up

24

Forest

snow blanket white and soft                            

flower petals into spine                    

moss upon the dimming brain                                         

fingertips of mushrooms                 

will we rise to walk again 

25

field of skulls

pumpkin

corpses

26

A Salt

Salt in a sea bed, white in white under white

sun until blinded, there is no sure anchor in

this cloudless sky, these white sands merely a drift

of dust, the way your indifference rubs salt in the wound

will I know at moonrise, do I go on to the white

light, do I fly or fall, as it’s always been

knuckles to salt pink lips and roses

after

27

Grievous

his smile is cruel as silk, thin mouth dripping

hellfire, eyes yellow like the devil’s sulphur, fox

hunt on the trail of red blood, my blood, then

from smoke his shadow thickens, how

does he always find me, not every

body dead is buried, down where I hide

myself like the afterthought, calls

of dark birds blanket the air, singing soft

as a thistle, I turn the earth at night, my body

knows its place under

28

a flurry, beating

the wings of a thousand bats

and the night closes its eyes

29

so quiet here

even the crows

have gone

mysteries

black and white movies

a quieter season

Unforgiving

air saffron, autumn light

my resting body feeds the pine

face turned up under fallen leaves

dread tears the autumn rain

what love buried deep within this heart

cold and stone now, a bloody stain

I am the corpse who will remain

30

The Devil Calls

It’s a strange form of loneliness

to be always alone but also leashed

like a dog and every minute meant to serve

no hours all your own, no rest 

it is four days and fourteen hours

since I’ve seen someone, anyone

to speak to

31

It’s murder

strangers on a boat, after all

leaning me over black water you say

aren’t you glad you said no

no, I’m not, you were

never worth it and this all dies so easily

already cold, pristine

like snowfall on a quiet grave

I don’t know how I’d do

on the free and open sea

they told you I wouldn’t remember

but I do

the dead know

the truth

they’ll never tell

instead

they wait to meet you

soon

1 November Día de los Muertos

brilliant yellow mums

brilliant yellow sun

to cheer the dead

©Susan Zegarsky 

1

autumn days

handfuls of gemstones

this season of dreams

wildflower honey

and maple syrup colors

autumn feeds my dreams

autumn's flames burn us

in an aria

of longing

2

I loved

The meadow grass has turned yellow ochre

just over the old bridge you loved

the rich scents of autumn are in the air

the tang of earth and woods

you’d raise your head to breathe it all in

sunlight caught in your brown eyes

The blue heron you loved rests

on the shore of our lake  

we circled here so many times

the trees reflecting red and gold

I’ve come far, far along this path

you loved, our path, the walks

we walked for ages but never enough

I don’t want to keep going any longer

without you by my side

it’s too empty, me here alone, I’m

heartsick, too homesick

for you, my friend, I loved

you were my home

3

River Birch

autumn opens a door wide

within me

so the dreaming begins

she sets me pining

the ache won’t still, she

bleeds yearning into me, it is

ever this wanting in me

like the salt is in the sea

4

gingerbread deer

lose themselves

among caramel leaves

across my path

the sparrows

more slight than falling leaves

yet just as petulant

in the wind

5

between scarlet leaves

red spider

weaves autumn

season of memories

autumn be kind

to this old woman

6

skittering leaves

and I

under the moon

the owl’s vibrato

through sleeping pines

autumn’s cello

7

Enrobed

the forest wraps me in her blanket of gold

a drifting veil of fog and silence, the far

mountains of ruby leaves lost, my train

memories, jewels of dew on my fingers

I wear autumn as a mantle of ghosts

tu m’as dit

que j’aurais dû vouloir plus

que la vie simple

mais le soleil d’automne

8

Casting around

These were the paths we wandered

all our days it was you and me

every breath blue sky and hearts free.

Now the leaves are turning without you

and I can’t remember how to be.

quand vient l’automne

quand tu n’es plus là

j’y vais rester où tu étais

je vais rester là où tombent

toutes les feuilles mortes d'automne

je préfère la lumière d’or

l’air frais et calme

des jours de mon automne

9

foxes playing

at twilight

autumn becoming winter

goldenrod and cattails

passing ghosts

we all are withering

il ne reste qu’une seule

feuille de châtaignier

la tempête vole l’automne

sur  ses vagues houleuses

de bleu indigo

10

September’s tale

the caramel sun melts into the sea

the sky sings autumn in sweet soft light

rolling forests tinged pumpkin orange

waves of gold, brick and rust

and smokey cliffs lie, grey old gargoyles

trees painted with spices, in burnt cinnamon

reflect from clear lake to sky ablaze

butter of hazelnuts, pecan, there, bronzed tobacco

the flight of clouds of golden meringue through air

and how I hold onto these pretty ephemeral dreams

Conte de septembre

le soleil de caramel se fond dans la mer

le ciel chante l’automne en douce lumière

forêts vallonnées teintées d’orange citrouille

les vagues d’or, de brique et de rouille

falaises grises fumées reposent, vieilles gargouilles

les arbres peints aux épices, de cannelle brûlée

se reflètent du lac clair vers ciel embrasé

la beurre de noisettes, de pacanes, là tabac mordoré

le vol des nuages de meringue dorée dans l’air

et comme je me tiens à ces jolis rêves éphémères

11

autumn 

caramel clouds 

slip

across the apricot sky

cries of scarlet 

birds echo

through

blood red trees

and it is her 

saffron light

holding me 

to life

l'automne

nuages de caramel

glissent

à travers le ciel abricot

cris d’oiseaux écarlates

résonnent

des arbres

de rouge sang

et c'est 

sa lumière safran 

qui me tient

en vie 

12

moss embroiders

the forest floor

we are firelight

sewn into bodies

with you

I was a bonfire

burning underwater

13

Sunlight

the way the sun falls

sprinkling through leaves

throwing lightning in her eyes

firelight in autumn air

cocoa hazelnut pecan to the tongue

or gingerbread and rum

the season and time but thieves

a moment windswept aloft in air

and lost in the breeze

14

the leaves are turning without you

and my feet don’t know where to find you

and my voice means nothing to the silence

how I call your name without end

you are nowhere but in everything I see you

Will you find me, will I find you again?

15

this brightest autumn

it’s as if someone told the sky

beyond the crimson hills

make it bluer bluer

and the sky listened

blue heron

the summoning

of the blue moon

après toi j’étais dénudée

un arbre nu et brisé, entouré

de mes belles feuilles tombées

16

The sky is telling me secrets, I dream of

the moment when autumn comes riding

the wings of a scarlet bird, the grief

the wind knows engulfs us

The rain is an ocean, the hills waves of

blood red breaking, if I could have one

more autumn before the last golden leaf

of my life falls

17

Keeping September

warming in autumn sun

in a field of earth under hills

of amber and rust, yearning

for one more bright day

begging the season for golden fire

to rewarm us in the cold times

to come

bien que je sois vieille

l’automne m’offre

un espoir glorieux

de l’impossible

even though

I grow older

autumn offers me

a glorious hope

for the impossible

18

crow

summons the autumn

harvest moon

black crow

autumn storm

black sky 

19

autumn shows us the

most beautiful way

to the end, we are dying, all

20

autumn is a fire

persimmon and pumpkin

and yellow gold

smell of earth

of maple and rum

if only the autumn

of my life

were this colorful

and sweet

21

pale pumpkin moon

in the indigo sky

coyotes sing

round barley moon

sees me dreaming

and smiles

22

Carolina in the pines

this feeling I get, unable to untie the knots, pacing the day

unsettling, while the afternoon turns to dust on the brown lawn

the trees give their leaves to the wind as afterthoughts

I think, the fawn

hasn’t come out of the woods for so long, then I see her, see

that she is that deer, the one who has grown so, pulled

into someone so beautiful

the tea is ready, dark as rust

the streetlights come on, autumn wonders

where her children have gone

tonight I forgot to say your name

23

I remember when

frost was on the earth

and not inside me

October dusk

lord of the forest

the stag keeps watch

24

blue white autumn sky

the day thinking of turning

cold

I am withering

ready to fall away

like the dead leaves

25

Juno, September

I saw Jupiter, diamond bright

in the sky these autumn nights

chasing his first love

in a soft low voice I tell myself

the things I need to know, all

things you should have told me

and I pretend I am someone

who loves me

this autumn rain is an ocean

I am just a body

asking for protection

26

What the wind knows

Autumn is everything

you still long for

every question

you ask only yourself

every lost life

in your memory

and all the fears

you thought would never

fall on you

VX

russet maple pecan rum

I’m becoming brown these

colors of fall, of well worn

days gone by like old

furniture and the damage

of pages turned many times

when they see my skin

they will see this body was

well used, this face shows

I felt all of it

27

Reaping

autumn's crimson, saffron, spice

sangria, persimmon, ochre, such

blazing bliss even death

must smile

28

barren autumn

but for

you crow

this grey day

one yellow leaf

hangs on

29

Leaving the lake

leaving the lake

sunlight yellow leaves sailing by

I wander the old paths, the forest, our hill

searching from earth to the clouds in the sky

looking for you with every lost breath

I wish you were here on earth

here beside me still  

30

black and white monsters

first movies first loves

back when I was young

watching our sun set

autumn goes to sleep

like a dark bird

sleep,

and tomorrow

©Susan Zegarsky 

Coming in November

©Susan Zegarsky 

Coming in December

©Susan Zegarsky 

1

silent forest

after the first snow

still as this crypt

witches circle

over the barren hill

silver winter moon

2

Demonologist

In whose waters am I drowning?

Who among us will I  save?

With what wine do I forget what I forgave?

In what tongue would I love you?

In whose land am I digging my grave?

3

silent night

I sing to mom

snow on her grave

4

Worse things

there are worse things

than your bloody wounds

there are worse things

than the fear in my veins

this obsession, like drowning

in a lake so long frozen over
there is no breaking through thick ice

to breathe air

5

autumn turns to winter

this life I live now

alone

photos on the floor

half remembered words

the weight of ghosts

6

crystal ice

at the edge of the river

winter begins

stars above me

valley below me

loneliness absolute

7

Taker

you are a taker, you took

me by the throat, you took

my tongue, my wishes, you took

the life right out of me, took

your own soul, thrown into fire6

8

winter tea of cinnamon

orange, cloves, anise 

this old spell for comfort

bright birds on white snow

memories of happiness

in this coldest place

9

Lord of Misrule

White blood of cruel chill blight

creeps into bones cracked to bare marrow

devil of the bitter barren, your burying brume

blankets our moments in resolute omens

this specter breath lies fast, feel the frozen snap

obscures this shattered light so misled we wander

your soul a shell of absence, soundless

hollow like the clear ice glaze of a ghost apple

numbing coat that hardens this ghastling earth

while dear winter birds die of hunger

10

rain hums the words I write

in the dead of night

I reach for the mourning moon

empty home

heavy rain

heavy heart

11

the pines reach

to the stars

I’m lost

under this deep sky

12

morning birdsong

after winter snow

a melody of cellos

13

silent snow in the dead of night 

stars like ice

winter spirits drawn in to rest

in the firelight

bitter wind bites to the very bone

oh cold heart

brood not, the dead come home

we're not alone

14

I light all the candles

against the storm

that surrounds me

15

dark tea, a bright fire

against the winter chill

don’t we have it all

quiet winter evenings

she’s been gone

so long

16

icy winter night

bitter voices or bitter wind

ghosts of memory

echo within 

17

for the telling, my own ghost story

a bleak winter night, blizzard snow growing deep

my time ran out like so much sand, I ran

velvet winter darkness herself dared not hide me

that devil chased me down in the bitter cold

took me by my frozen hand to shush me 

like a hush of white falling snow then

lay me down to sleep 

18

going home with gifts

evening snowflakes decorate

my headlight beams

how I loved snow

on Black Forest pines

a candlelit Yule, home

19

black and white movies

inside, outside

snow white and black sky

white quilt of snow

first winter storm

covers their broken bones 

20

ghost stories

by firelight

I didn’t believe

until the dead of night

the light pales, days

are dark and cold seeps

into bones waiting for light

21

Blinded

looking out across Alps                                           

brilliance of winter sun on ice blinding sight

I remember the pure endless snow   

and you colder than mountains rolling in white

icy lies as hollow as a dead man’s sigh

the love I will never know

but I miss the light    

nightmares

in the velvet dark

of the longest night

all the world dead black

and snow white

all the world

singing for the return

of the golden light

22

The Sixth Extinction

The sun rose over the dark mountain pines

this morning before being blanketed

by snow clouds and now it is quiet with the snow, a stillness

like a shush of comfort, I am a mountain child, clouds

and hills rolling away below me like misremembered dreams

fresh fragrance of balsam and cedar, juniper berries in my hands

snowflakes freeze in my open eyes and the clouds are still heavy

but I wonder where all the birds have gone

if there is another living creature here

I cannot see it

23

pumpkin and persimmon

became winter brown and bleak

I put my faith in the coldness

of the snow

I kneel to give dad his gift

a fresh Christmas wreath

propped on his gravestone

24

it’s the cold white season

of ghost stories, merciless

memories like ghosts

the dead creep closer

holding their burned hearts out to us

beating, in their bone white fingers

what angels gather here this liminal night

the earth is frozen to the far curve

and silent like a bird that has turned itself into

sorrow

to flutter through the pines like a shush of snow

25

nothing

can lull me to sleep

the sky bejeweled with embers

the night showered by the silver light

of Orion’s stars

yet within me remains

the infinite dark

26

stars like snow in space

you are missing 

this dead midwinter

pines are specters, wraiths

in the drift of opalescent fog

this sorrowful winter

I have not been certain

where dreams end

27

The dead will find their way

back to us, I feel the slick ice touch

slip across my skin, the famished

breath brush across my neck and how I want

to hold on to my mind here

but the air is empty and hunger is the sound

of my whispered name

after the holiday

the house so wide

so still

it is so dark

there has never been

any such thing as the moon 

28

Asomnia

awake by night

searching stars falling into snow

trying unfailingly to drown this fire

to ease the lightning in my mind

but how its burning lights up the night

29

long grey walks

under white winter sky

quiet memories

the dead creep close

these silent nights

the guilt that haunts us

30

such silver light

the moon rains upon earth

when night is deepest

ice crystal air

opal wisps wind

among sparse branches

the sun too pale

to chase the fog

31

I’ll always love the fog

on the low moor, wisps

in the frozen morning, silent

phantoms more forgiving

than the ghosts of deep night

silent forest

after the first snow, still

as my home, this crypt

January 1, 2024

winter morning, new year

black dog shakes stars from her back

snow keeps falling

©Susan Zegarsky 

1

old ouija board

spelling the shadows

into life

2

darkness

black as ink, pierced

by eyes of stars

3

skeleton chuckles

the light chatter

of windblown leaves

4

crows, indigo waves

swell in shadows

of October forest

5

scarlet leaves fall

drops of blood bright

on dark earth

6

skeletons clapping

stark bare branches

clack in the autumn wind

7

my ghost awaits

in the dark folds

of velvet night

8

rain on dead fields

tears for  

the dying earth

9

something sinister

in autumn fog

the veil thins

10

midnight wind whispers

a half-remembered

ghost story

11

black clouds hide

October’s full moon

my sinister omen

12

storm clouds, no moon

deep October dark

a devil's afoot

13

mists cross the moor

rolling waves

of ghost sea

14

the mirror

smiles back

what have I summoned?

15

the trickster smiles

oops, you’ve sold

your soul

16

pouring a salt circle

to keep out

the unseen

17

a chill in wind

the presence

of phantoms unseen 

18

sunny days long gone

it’s my autumn now

I am the grey crone

19

ecstatic bats

ride moonbeams

this magic October sky

20

wind through the tombs

warns the quick approach

of ghouls

21

alone in the woods

fast footsteps

across the cabin roof

all my bones

have turned

into screams

22

shadows

of windblown leaves

all the Halloweens past

at the devil’s crossroads

I wait for him

under the wolf moon

23

shadows prowl

the cool October night

ghosts of witch cats

24

there were no bodies

left whole enough

to bury

October night sky

all the light I see

is already dead

footsteps rustle near

the scarecrow

runs

25

an evil lurks

unseen in October darkness

thieving souls

chips of bones

broken headstones

grave robbing ghouls

26

forest mists

haunting memories

so many specters of autumn

27

the palm reader

winces

at my life line

the bonfire roars

around the girl

who sings to devils

28

one’s skin

can often be

ill fitting

swirls of falling leaves

autumn breeze, don’t we

have it all

29

the dead whisper to me

cruel secrets

of the still living

30

this year we grieve

so many of us dead

autumn of phantoms

the ancient language slips

off forked tongues

night of jinn

31

last night

of a dark October

black magic in the air

poppies, scarlet

blooms of blood

across her chest

©Susan Zegarsky 

1

bright yellow leaves wave

at clear blue skies 

beloved September mornings

2

yellow leaves tumble

through golden sunbeams

September smiles

Chanceuse

le hululement du hibou

le vol des chauve-souris

la lueur des étoiles filantes

mille bénédictions de ce monde

que je comprends à peine

ou pas du tout

3

sunlit memories

of long ago autumns

my only treasures

4

haunting melody floating

in fall night air

unseen coyotes following me

mes rêves rayonnants

n’étaient jamais aussi muet que

mon automne mourant

5

warm light

brisk wind

September sings again

6

autumn morning awakening

sunbeams, the smell of maple

and pumpkin spice

ruby, garnet, gold

amber, citrine, sapphire

the bright riches of autumn

7

September sun

I bathe in warmth

to carry me through winter

8

at the forest’s edge

deer friend

enjoys autumn berries

remembering

my black dog loved

the jump into autumn leaves

9

waving in the wind

sunshine yellow mums

welcome autumn

10

familiar comforts of autumn

your eyes a map of heaven

my heart memorized

11

memories fall

in silent rain

tears of autumn

12

yellow butterfly

admires my autumn mums

of a lesser yellow

13

gingko trees

harvest moon

golden autumn symphony

14

behind the mountain

of scarlet trees

my orange harvest moon

15

autumn afternoons

daydreaming of kisses

under golden sun

16

my orange harvest moon

shares the night sky

with my dreams

17

silent confidant

what companion more true

my silver autumn moon

j’aimerais vivre

où la lune est toujours blonde

est tu es loin de moi

18

the moon

pierces autumn fog

with moonbeams of dreams

19

early autumn thunder

rolls

over red hills

20

swift owl bursts

into the autumn sky

which silver is the moon

21

red leaves and friends

chatter

across the stone street

22

leaves born by wind

race the clouds

across barren fields

23

observing

my nighttime wanderings

the owl and the moon

24

falcon

on the haystack

bittersweet autumn

25

old woman

praying to autumn sky

tears of loneliness or rain

26

frost

black elm

red wet autumn

catching hold of my scarf

barren branches, cold

skeleton fingers

27

end of autumn

slate grey heavens

threaten rain

28

leaves tumbling away

the gusts

already winter cold

the wasp nest

is hollow now

like my autumn days

29

autumn ends

it grows darker

inside and out

30

after autumn

remember I loved

the scarlet leaves

après-midi d’automne

je rêve de bisous

sous la pluie

©Susan Zegarsky